25 cats named sam and one blue pussy

I really hate people who write music reviews that are too long. If you write say more than 100 words about one band or record than you're a self-indulgent, excessive doucebag who's opinion can't be trusted. I mean, if you want to say something, say it. Spit it out already. A review doesn't need some long winded expression with a host full of contrived analogies and metaphors to get the message across. "Wow, I really love the fuzzed-out, cathartic sound of Davey Demon's guitar playing, he's really one of the most esoteric musicians out there." Being skilled in rhetoric doesn't mean putting me to sleep, asshole. Let's face it, if you really knew something about music then you probably wouldn't be writing about it anyway. There are two types of people in this world, those who like music and those who hate it. If you're a critic or play in a band then you have a passionate distaste for music. If you listen to it soley for the pleasure of it and bypass all of the other pointless delusional crap, than I think you actually might be a fan! Let's hear it for the talentless, tuneless fools who don't care whether they get to make clowns of themselves in front of some vapid audience in a damp, divey bar. I think one day I will dump all of my guitars and musical equipment into a river and watch it all sail away until somebody comes by and asks, "what'd you do that for?" I'd tell them, "maybe if you stopped reading the want ads so much, you'd understand." Then I'd go home and put on some Ricky Nelson, but I haven't decided for sure on that one yet.