SINGLE MINDED, Vol. 1 - Columbus Edition, Pt. 1

I am going broke here, people. The glut of quality releases this spring is killing me. People are either gonna have to start sending me records to review for free, or I'm gonna have to order the collective musical community to turn off its gushing spigot of creativity. Here are some singles I DID get for free, hence the glowing reviews below. Just kidding. I'm reviewing them glowingly because they are good and important, AND because I got them for free.

UNHOLY 2 - "Kutter" 7" (CDR)
If there are two things, holy or unholy, that the Unholy 2's Chris Lutzko enjoys, it's pro wrestling and Pussy Galore. If there are two MORE things I know he enjoys, it's a good afterparty and ... pussy galore. All of these influences can be heard on his band's debut 7" on Columbus Discount. It's faux-aggressive posturing on the one hand, but on the other, it's a genuinely raucous good time. The A-side's screechy intro is Melvins-style sludge, and on first listen way too long, but then you see the logic as it builds into a raging sleaze anthem of mosh-pit proportions (seriously, I can see the crowd down front at Lollapalooza '91 going nuts when they hit the chorus). Is the flip, "Porky's," about bad-boy hijinks with the guys? Who knows? Lutzko himself says in a recent interview, "The A-side is about how girls can't rock. The B-side lets you know where you can find 'em." Crass-ish skittering drums propel Lutzko's ranting about (pick one): Amerikkka, girls, Israel, Planned Parenthood, your sucky band, his band's awesomeness, partying, pro wrestling, and/or girls. It may not match the bombast or sheer sonic pain of their live sets, but until they spread their gospel of smut to your town in person, this virgin white (the color, not the vinyl) 7" release will do.

So, have YOU heard Hairdryer Peace yet? You know, that new album everyone's talking about by that weird band the Hospitals? Man, that shit is really OFF THE WALL! Like, is this even music? I don't know man. It's just a little too weird for me!

Actually, I think I really do love this album. I'm not SURE that I do yet. Every night I go home after work, smoke a big bowl, sit directly between the stereo speakers in the dark, and try to figure out if I like it or not. Mostly then, it sounds awesome. The rest of the time it floats in the room like a musical embodiment of your subconscious mind. It's fragmented and makes intermittent sense, like a dream, and then when it's over you don't really remember anything but bits and pieces of it. But then you kinda wanna be back in that place again. My best recommendation for this album is: I don't want to listen to it all the time, but some weird part of my brain definitely does (probably the part sticky with accumulated resin).

I'll let you know if I ever finally decide if this album is genius or just plain old artgay. It's something, I'll tell you that much.

Pride of Algoma, WI

Let us now praise Hue Blanc's Joyless Ones, purveyors of a unique brand of bleak Americana. A gang of unlikely rock heroes from the equally unlikely location of Algoma, WI (pop.: 4000 or less), a lakefront resort town home mostly to weekend cottage-dwellers, retirees, and not another single rock band that I can think of. They share not only a French-Canadian-Wisconsin heritage with Pink Reason, but similar chord progressions, songwriting styles, and a taste for cheap beer and dark lyrical subject matter. Kevin Pink Reason has told me before that when he and the Hue Blanc guys met, they were all shocked to find that despite having never heard one another's music before, the music they wrote and played sounded stunningly familiar to both parties.

Hue Blanc's second LP, Arriere Garde (which, incidentally, has one of my favorite record covers in recent history), released a few months back on SS Records, is both haunted- and elated-sounding. They revel, by way of garage-y organ and the trebley crash of multiple guitars, in the muck of failed relationships and failed dreams. It sounds depressing, and it is, but it doesn't drag you down; in fact, I find their music oddly uplifting. When they're not being pensive and dark they're being blunt and funny: Ted laughs audibly as he delivers the lines "For all my words/I'm just trying to fuck you." In Hue Blanc's perpetually autumnal world (one of their many artfully titled songs is, in fact, called "A Frolicked Walk Through Autumnal Bliss"), there's too much decay all around to worry about coming up with a smooth line. Better to just swill some more beer and find someone to keep the cold and loneliness at bay, even if just for tonight.

Hue Blanc's Joyless Ones will appear tomorrow night at Carabar here in Columbus along with Pink Reason, Grave Blankets, and Michael Zink's Nuggets Fancy (MZ currently being a Joyless One, as well). Come on down and get your soul dirty.

Sister Breed

Someone used the term "Crimson Wave" to describe the recent spate of releases by young women making a dark and gloomy racket in their bedrooms. It's supposed to be a joke, so don't go adding that tag to your Ebay listings or anything. There have been quite a few of these kinds of projects cropping up--you're probably aware of Zola Jesus, soon to have 7"s out on Sacred Bone and Die Stasi, and maybe U.S. Girls--and now here's another one, Circuit des Yeux, who is one Haley Fohr of Lafayette, IN. She sent me this CD-R in the mail a few weeks ago and I still owe her something in return (Haley it's coming ... here's a good review till then). I think she might only be in her late teens, but you'd never know it from these defiantly weird, distinctly female home recordings. From the stuff I heard on Myspace I thought it would mostly be a lot of otherworldly caterwauling, but the 10 tracks actually showcase a variety of styles, ranging from the creepy wailing and scraping violin on "Eyes" to the buoyant acoustic guitar and handclaps of "The Escorts" to the field-holler "Penance Blues." "We are the sister breed, it's our time" she sings on "Sister Breed," and I won't presume to know what she means by that, but it sounds like a call to arms for the young, female and weird everywhere. I only wish I was this cool in high school ...

I'm not sure if she's still offering these for trade, but you might be able to check with her at her Myspace. I hope someone wants to do a 7" for her or something sometime soon.

This is not a SXSW post

Because really, aren't you tired of hearing about it? I am. Whether you went or whether you stayed home like a normal, sane person, it's time to shitcan the SouthBy talk and move onto more important topics, like March Madness or getting that hot summer body before shorts season arrives. And everyone else has already done a better and more timely job of talking about it. But I DID go and saw a ton of awesome music and bought some cool records, so I will probably namedrop the fearsome 4-lettered acronym from time to time in the next few posts. I brought a camera along hoping to capture some visuals to accompany my reminiscings, but I forgot that 1) I hate taking pictures 2) I'm not good at it and 3) taking pictures is gay.

But anyway, what I'm listening to right now ... two Naked on the Vague releases, Sad Sun (Sabbatical) and The Blood Pressure Sessions (Dual Plover). I saw them at the Siltbreeze showcase in Austin, which, even if it wasn't quite as mind-bending in execution as it was on paper (as much as I liked that Ex-Cocaine record, I was just really bored by the stuff live), still provided some big thrills and chills. NOTV was actually one of the bands that I found to be pretty head-spinning live and the recordings now make even more sense. Imagine two people sold into slavery, chained in a dank basement with some guitars, keyboards, and sundry effects, and forced to express their existential agony with primitive percussion and vocals that sound like they're being yelled/groaned from said basement. It's like that. But better. Full disclosure: I was really, really high when I saw their set, but I checked with a few sober people and they agreed that it was a spectacularly dread-suffused and riveting performance.

So anyway, NOTV are doing a big American tour over the next few months, some dates of which are going to include TNV and Psychedelic Horseshit, and Rich Horseshit claims that a Columbus show is in the works (haven't seen any evidence of this yet, but I still hope). You'll probably enjoy these dour Aussies even more if you see 'em live, but in the meantime, hunt the recordings down and let 'em sink into your bones. Good listening for when you're stuck in your own existential dungeon.