SINGLE MINDED, Vol. 1 - Columbus Edition, Pt. 1

I am going broke here, people. The glut of quality releases this spring is killing me. People are either gonna have to start sending me records to review for free, or I'm gonna have to order the collective musical community to turn off its gushing spigot of creativity. Here are some singles I DID get for free, hence the glowing reviews below. Just kidding. I'm reviewing them glowingly because they are good and important, AND because I got them for free.

UNHOLY 2 - "Kutter" 7" (CDR)
If there are two things, holy or unholy, that the Unholy 2's Chris Lutzko enjoys, it's pro wrestling and Pussy Galore. If there are two MORE things I know he enjoys, it's a good afterparty and ... pussy galore. All of these influences can be heard on his band's debut 7" on Columbus Discount. It's faux-aggressive posturing on the one hand, but on the other, it's a genuinely raucous good time. The A-side's screechy intro is Melvins-style sludge, and on first listen way too long, but then you see the logic as it builds into a raging sleaze anthem of mosh-pit proportions (seriously, I can see the crowd down front at Lollapalooza '91 going nuts when they hit the chorus). Is the flip, "Porky's," about bad-boy hijinks with the guys? Who knows? Lutzko himself says in a recent interview, "The A-side is about how girls can't rock. The B-side lets you know where you can find 'em." Crass-ish skittering drums propel Lutzko's ranting about (pick one): Amerikkka, girls, Israel, Planned Parenthood, your sucky band, his band's awesomeness, partying, pro wrestling, and/or girls. It may not match the bombast or sheer sonic pain of their live sets, but until they spread their gospel of smut to your town in person, this virgin white (the color, not the vinyl) 7" release will do.